I use to be strong
A stable, confident person
Sure of my beliefs.
Comfortable.
Then God came along.
He showed me a new reality.
My eyes were open to new ways.
Different customs.
I´m not sure what I believe anymore.
Now I don´t feel that strong.
Insecurities flood my thoughts.
Uncomfortable.
But there is comfort in the unknown
A relief that control is not with me.
No, I have intrusted my life in someone greater.
Someone who is so much wiser that I.
In Him I am strong
I recieve stability and confidence
And an assurance from Him.
In God I find rest.
¨That is why, for Christ´s sake, I delight in weakness... in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.¨ -2 Corinthians 12:10
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Service to Remember
At the young adults retreat there was a certian worship service that I will not easily forget. A service filled with a new light on worship that I had not experinced before.
It started with praise and worship, like the others that week had. Clapping, jumping and loud chanting at times created a lively atmosphere. During one of the slower more moving songs, the speaker of the day took the mike and began speaking about possibly what the song inspired him to tell us- I am not sure really because his spanish was hard for me to understand. But before I knew it, youth were bawlling around me. Youth started heading up to the front starting an alter call of sorts. They were kneeling, weeping and crying out to God while at the same time sharing testimonies at the mike. As more time passed, even more youth headed to the front. By now there was loud wailing and crying from all around. People I knew from my youth group were up. They reconized how undeserving we are of His love and were litterally falling to their knees in repentance.
While everything was unfolding around me, I felt like a silent observer among the group. I had been introduced to this style of worship before in Asuncion , but nothing of this intensity. Watching everyone, I could feel the importance of this moment for some present. But I personally was unable to connect the same way. Maybe it was the language barrier or maybe the newness of the style of worship.
Even though I was unable to connect, this moment gave me appreciation for different styles of worship. There is something valuable to be taken out of any style of worship, weather it be a new way of connecting to God or a deeper understanding of the global church. By seeing worship in a different context, I was reminded of how complex and indiscribable God is.
It started with praise and worship, like the others that week had. Clapping, jumping and loud chanting at times created a lively atmosphere. During one of the slower more moving songs, the speaker of the day took the mike and began speaking about possibly what the song inspired him to tell us- I am not sure really because his spanish was hard for me to understand. But before I knew it, youth were bawlling around me. Youth started heading up to the front starting an alter call of sorts. They were kneeling, weeping and crying out to God while at the same time sharing testimonies at the mike. As more time passed, even more youth headed to the front. By now there was loud wailing and crying from all around. People I knew from my youth group were up. They reconized how undeserving we are of His love and were litterally falling to their knees in repentance.
While everything was unfolding around me, I felt like a silent observer among the group. I had been introduced to this style of worship before in Asuncion , but nothing of this intensity. Watching everyone, I could feel the importance of this moment for some present. But I personally was unable to connect the same way. Maybe it was the language barrier or maybe the newness of the style of worship.
Even though I was unable to connect, this moment gave me appreciation for different styles of worship. There is something valuable to be taken out of any style of worship, weather it be a new way of connecting to God or a deeper understanding of the global church. By seeing worship in a different context, I was reminded of how complex and indiscribable God is.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Art of Play
Life has been busy recently! Over the holidays there has been a LOT of traveling...
During my time in the Chaco, I had the opportunity to see what genunie play looks like. My host moms father was the source of this moment. Over my stay in their house, it was not unusual to see him running right along side his grandchildren. This served as a great reminder for me. I too want to keep the art of play in my life. God desires for us to have a child like faith. He wants us to come running to him with our arms wide open, ready for his warm embrace.
Today I challenge all of us to redefine what it play looks like in our life. There is nothing to loose... and I am finding it to be a lot of fun :)
- Going with the team to Argentina to renew our visas
- Visiting the Chaco with my host family for the holidays
- Going to Casaapa to visit Rosanna, a friend at church
- Attending the Youth Retreat for the Mennonite Conference in Paraguay
During my time in the Chaco, I had the opportunity to see what genunie play looks like. My host moms father was the source of this moment. Over my stay in their house, it was not unusual to see him running right along side his grandchildren. This served as a great reminder for me. I too want to keep the art of play in my life. God desires for us to have a child like faith. He wants us to come running to him with our arms wide open, ready for his warm embrace.
Today I challenge all of us to redefine what it play looks like in our life. There is nothing to loose... and I am finding it to be a lot of fun :)
Monday, December 7, 2009
Loving Relationships
My favorite aspect of this year is getting to know people of Paraguay. I love interacting and sometimes even holding conversation with neighbors- when I am having a good day with my spanish that is. :) Those briefest moments make my experience much richer.
It is by getting to know people here that one is able to see the true spirit of Paraguay. In the shy smile from my neighbor Sophie as I walk to work. Or the friendly adios from Toni and Laura on the way to church. In these brief moments I find much joy.
But some of my most memorable moments occur over terere. The chilled terere during a hot summer day creates a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. Any sort of conversation can come up over terere. Maybe the re-telling of a hillarious moment staring a kid from the Guardaria. Or a sad tale of our neighbors who made a poor decision. Listening into these talks gives me a glimpse of how God is at work in Paraguay. How through loving relationships, God is changing lives.
It is by getting to know people here that one is able to see the true spirit of Paraguay. In the shy smile from my neighbor Sophie as I walk to work. Or the friendly adios from Toni and Laura on the way to church. In these brief moments I find much joy.
But some of my most memorable moments occur over terere. The chilled terere during a hot summer day creates a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. Any sort of conversation can come up over terere. Maybe the re-telling of a hillarious moment staring a kid from the Guardaria. Or a sad tale of our neighbors who made a poor decision. Listening into these talks gives me a glimpse of how God is at work in Paraguay. How through loving relationships, God is changing lives.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Grace Like Rain
I love rainy days. But rainy days are a little different in Paraguay. When it rains, the roads turn muddy and unpassable. The road infront of my house looks something similar to a creek if it gets wet enough. So when it rains, Asuncion takes the day off. Schools close, parents stay home, and the day is free.
On Wednesday, we had a very rainy day. I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the roof. It was a relaxing rhythm that coaxed me further under the covers. Once my tired body was convinced it was morning, I headed downstairs for breakfast, which consisted of a warm cup of cocido- warm milk, but for me soy milk, brewed jerva, the tea leaves used to make terere. Together, me and my host family sat under the patio, watching the rain spill over the terrain. It was such a tranquil sceen.
Since the Guardaria was closed for the day, the dawas very relaxed. For the rest of the morning I sat with Alfred and Edulia, drinking steaming hot mate while surrounded by the chill breeze of the rain fall. This was such a spiritual experience for me. It felt as if God was clearing away all the dirt from my heart.
As the clouds cleared and the rain ceased, the sweet smell of wet grass filled the air. Edulia began cooking bread for the month and the kids spent their free time watching tv. This rainy day was such a blessing. An opportunity to recharge and be reminded of God`s provision.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demonds, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.
-Romans 8: 38, 39
On Wednesday, we had a very rainy day. I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the roof. It was a relaxing rhythm that coaxed me further under the covers. Once my tired body was convinced it was morning, I headed downstairs for breakfast, which consisted of a warm cup of cocido- warm milk, but for me soy milk, brewed jerva, the tea leaves used to make terere. Together, me and my host family sat under the patio, watching the rain spill over the terrain. It was such a tranquil sceen.
Since the Guardaria was closed for the day, the dawas very relaxed. For the rest of the morning I sat with Alfred and Edulia, drinking steaming hot mate while surrounded by the chill breeze of the rain fall. This was such a spiritual experience for me. It felt as if God was clearing away all the dirt from my heart.
As the clouds cleared and the rain ceased, the sweet smell of wet grass filled the air. Edulia began cooking bread for the month and the kids spent their free time watching tv. This rainy day was such a blessing. An opportunity to recharge and be reminded of God`s provision.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demonds, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.
-Romans 8: 38, 39
Monday, November 9, 2009
Digging to the Core
Being immersed in a culture which you don´t know the language give a lot a time for time for thinking. After a full day of thoughts, I go to my journal to release some of my questions. On November 1st, my day led to this entry...
Last night when I plopped onto my bed, I found myself questioning... who am I?
What kind of person am I becoming after just two months in Paraguay? For most of
my life I have been able to identify myself by what I did
or maybe by certian personality traits. But I don´t have those discriptions to hide
behind anymore. While all those charcteristics are great assets, they are not the core
who I am. The very center of me is that I am a child of God. I am his daughter. But
what does that really mean? How can I continue to dig deeper to discover who God
wants me to become? The only way I know how is to become hungry once
again for Christ. Over and over I must continue to fall to my knees and offer all of myself
to Christ. Because it is through him that I am made whole.
I have found that after journaling I am left with an eager heart. A new found excitment is developing in my faith. Who knows where God may lead...
Monday, November 2, 2009
La Guardaria
Coming into this year I didn´t have much of an idea what sort of voulenteer work I would be doing. But now I do! Now, I am beginning have a pace to life.
For the past two weeks I have been working with 10 wonderful co-workers at Iglesia de Amistad´s daycare and kindergarden program. About 96 kids between the ages of one and four spend either a part or the whole day at the Guarderia. With patience and kindness, both the faculty and kids have been showing me how things run. So far my job discription has looked something like this...
For the past two weeks I have been working with 10 wonderful co-workers at Iglesia de Amistad´s daycare and kindergarden program. About 96 kids between the ages of one and four spend either a part or the whole day at the Guarderia. With patience and kindness, both the faculty and kids have been showing me how things run. So far my job discription has looked something like this...
nose wiper, dish washer, lice picker,
dance instructor, cook assistant,
floor sweeper, terere drinker,
hair dresser, hug giver, shoe tie-er,
wardrobe assistant etc....
Each day is an opportunity to learn something new! Who knows what occupation I may be interested in after such a variety of experiences! :)
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